Today is my birthday.
Thanks, Mom and Dad.
I woke up this morning thinking about a few things relative to age, specifically my age. I’ll start with the house we all live in as human beings–our bodies. I like my body and have had a great deal of pleasure in it as is over the years. That being said, there are those last 10+ lbs I’d like to release, and there is that weight training program I’d like to pursue to complement my walking practice… I have no deep desire to return to my 20’s (OK, on occasion), but do want to remain the healthiest, strongest and best me I can be at the age that I am. Next up for reflection is the face. My face. Overall, I think I have weathered the years pretty well. Not too wrinkly, straight teeth (and all of them my own) blue-gray eyes that remind me of my pop and the sea, and a lot of those really great eye crinkles in the corner of my eyes that only come after years of smiling and laughter. I can still see the fire in those eyes and a bit of attitude as well. I never understand why people get so crazy about the so-called “crows-feet”. I consider them a visible badge representing a life well lived. Behind that face and inside my head lives a whole other world aka, Penny’s Circus and Playground. This wonderland has kept me amused and entertained for many years. Only a handful of folks have ever been inside the main tent…*Lucky Them*
We are now officially into murky water as we travel a bit further south on the face and into the Land of the Slightly Drooping Jawline. Talk about irrefutable visible proof of the Law of Gravity! I read( and loved) Nora Ephron’s hysterical book, I Feel Bad About My Neck years ago. I was younger then. Now I get it. Oh well, love me, love my neck and all my other jiggley bits.
Next up is not really gender specific, but I think that the ladies may resonate to the topic a bit more than you fellows. You know where I’m going, right? H A I R. For conversational topics that have tenure,HAIR is right up there with God, Sex and Relationships. The happy thing is, I still have hair. I am grateful for every follicle on my head. The History of my Hair (or Hairstory) is epic, but probably not that unusual. MY hair has been so long I could sit on it and it has been an inch long (or short, whatever). I was a hair model for about 8 months in the early 70’s for the Gene Juarez Studios. *Gene was/is kind of a big hairy deal in the PNW. I was shaved, snipped, clipped and dyed within an inch of my life (yes, it was THAT inch mentioned above) I do not miss these days or the grow out that followed some of the more exotic ‘do’s. I have been pony-tailed, braided, French-twisted, with bangs and bang free. I am always slightly curly, and, given any degree of length and humidity, have my own version of a white woman’s “Fro”. It is not attractive. At some lengths I have an enviable flip, no curlers required, that looks like I am ready for take-off.
For many of us women-of-a-certain-age, there comes a time when we find ourselves considering the following question: Will we or won’t we color our hair? What follows is a confession of sorts. I have found a way to sit comfortably (and somewhat unexpectedly) on the coloring fence of commitment. Two words: Low Lights. Now you know, and you thought it looked so natural… LowLights put me halfway between two worlds. My earth-goddess, all natural, 100% organic, post cool, past hippie chick loves the gray. The only-her-hairdresser-knows-for-sure sister loves the color. Speaking of color, I succumbed to a random color whim a week ago. The back story on this color caving is as follows; my gene pool is chock-a-block with natural-born red-heads. I am not one of them. A blonde at birth, most of the rest of my (uncolored) hair life was that indeterminate light brown color that nobody ever wrote a song for. So, spurred on by all of the images of the spunky redheads that I have known, I decided to add a few streaks of dark red to the mix. Hey, you know what? I really liked it. Who knows where this may lead me…
While I do spend time contemplating the externals, with humor mostly, I also spend much time thinking about the internal parts of myself and just how I show up in this juicy life on a daily basis.
My markers for a really good day include feeling like I have made choices that left me feeling more alive, choices that were a bit out of my comfort zone, that pushed me into learning new ways of thinking and being, being grateful and as kind and accepting as I was capable of with and to all of the things that came my way that day.
I tend to love things and people fiercely. My speeds seem to be either full on or totally off. You will probably always know how I feel about you. This may cause discomfort for some (including myself). I really don’t like to tone myself down, but at the same time I know folks can get freaked out by a full on dose of me that has not had a wee bit of editing. *Sigh* I am a work in progress, as are we all.
I have an illustrated quote card that says, “We are put on earth a little space to learn to bear the beams of love.”William Blake.
Thank you for Beaming at me and for being a part of my happy birthday.
I love you, you know.